


something about us

by moonbiz



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, F/M, Gavin Reed Needs a Hug, Gavin Reed is Bad at Feelings, Love Confessions, M/M, Possibly Unrequited Love, Sad and Sweet, Soft Upgraded Connor | RK900, Upgraded Connor | RK900 Is Bad at Feelings, a n g s t
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-25 17:13:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22359871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonbiz/pseuds/moonbiz
Summary: “Nah, nah,” Gavin quickly shrugged the idea off, “I just uh-... I kind of need to talk to you, in private preferably?”There was a moment of silence that sat between them, the tension in the air was thick and heavy. He carefully studied Nines’s facial expression, wondering if he had already somehow messed his whole plan up.But after waiting out the anxiety-inducing silence, Nines made a move and joined Gavin outside, firmly shutting the door behind him.“Is something wrong, Gavin?” Nines looked concerned, his brows furrowed and his eyes shining in the low light surrounding them. Gavin sighed and shook his head in response.“No, it’s nothing like that, nothing’s wrong,” He said, “I just have some things I need to tell you... some bullshit that I’ve been neglecting to tell you for a while.”orGavin's unrequited love for Nines is consuming him and he plans to finally tell the android about it before he leaves Detroit for good.
Relationships: Background Original Chloe | RT600 & Upgraded Connor | RK900, Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed
Comments: 10
Kudos: 84





	something about us

**Author's Note:**

> This story was inspired by the song ['Something About Us' by Daft Punk.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOS9aOIXPEk)  
> I would recommend you give it a listen if you feel the need to do so!  
> yell at me on twitter: [moonbiiz](https://twitter.com/moonbiiz)  
> p.s. there is sort of a personal easter egg in honor of my beloved cat. i grew up with her and she is no longer with us. i miss her dearly.

There had been many long, painstakingly hard weeks of planning and doubts prior to his final decision, but Gavin had finally settled on a choice that he silently hoped would change his life for the better.

He was going to move far away from Detroit.

Detroit, unfortunately, had nothing left to offer him. It had become perfectly clear to him over time that he wasn’t going to get the promotion he wanted any day soon, and what little family he had left didn’t dare speak to him anymore after he lashed out at his cousin a couple of years back. It was just a puny, miserable and lonely existence, alone in his apartment with nothing better to do but shove himself into his work.

But even then, he couldn’t escape from the harsh reality of his situation.

His co-workers resented him, that was something he had realized as well. He had tried to reconcile with them, but it was a complete loss. There was no turning back from making an entire group of people hate you. He couldn’t just walk into work one day and say, “Hey everyone! I’m sorry for being an asshole for so long, let’s go get some food and everything will be hunky-dory!”

People already had their set opinions about him, and he was convinced he would have to practically throw himself in front of a bullet for some of them to even consider his redemption. Tina was an exception to this, but even then, their small acquaintanceship didn’t expand anywhere past the workplace. Sure, he was going to miss the woman and he appreciated her small acts of kindness, but there was no reason to hold on to something as minuscule as that.

Then there was Nines...

Nines was an anomaly of sorts. The android actually made a solid attempt to befriend Gavin like his whole existence depended on it. The white-clad male had brought him coffee even when he didn’t ask for it, asked him questions about things he didn’t even bother thinking about himself, and pried himself into Gavin’s life like a little overeager parasite.

Well, in all honesty, Gavin was pretty sure that it was part of the android’s job to befriend him back in the beginning. A while after the revolution, Nines had been forcefully shoved into Gavin’s comfort zone as his new work partner after he had made no attempts to treat the newly hired androids at the DPD like normal people. It was clearly a ploy to coerce him into accepting androids as a new intelligent lifeform by forcing him to work with one of them.

It sure as hell worked.

But a lot of time had passed since those days, and they had become increasingly close over the years. He stuck with the android throughout everything that happened in that period, every case, every milestone, every curious question- Gavin had even helped put together Nines’s first official birthday party and assisted the android with picking out some new clothes after he finally wanted to ditch the Cyberlife issued stuff. It was a serene and peaceful existence for a while. He could never forget the softly spoken words over coffee and cigarettes on many late nights after their shift was over with. He couldn’t let go of the small, yet fond glances shared across the desk when they were looking for information about the case at hand.

One particular, wintery night they had sat out on a park bench in the cold for hours, simply reminiscing and philosophizing about humanity. Gavin’s gloved hands were neatly wrapped around a cup of coffee which had gone cold from neglect, and Nines was attentively listening to him talk about some of his happier childhood memories. They carried a conversation so effortlessly, and it felt like time had no restraint to Gavin. He could’ve talked about anything, and he was sure Nines would’ve listened to whatever bullshit poured out of his mouth. The topic had eventually moved on to something silly that happened at the station earlier that day, and Gavin couldn’t help but notice the alluring twinkle in Nines’s eyes when the android laughed. He stared with a newfound wonder, to which Nines had noticed and looked back at him with a fond smile.

Gavin didn’t even feel the cold.

It was one of his favorite memories, and ever since then, they had worked extremely well together, a sort of rugged yin and yang that was balanced in its own little way. Nines seemed to genuinely enjoy his company, or at least, that’s what it felt like to him.

And Gavin?

Well, Gavin was completely smitten with Nines.

Which ultimately was his biggest problem of them all, because Nines was going to marry someone else soon.

Maybe he was a little stupid for falling in love with Nines over the years when he knew there was probably no chance the male would even consider getting with a guy like him, but Gavin felt like the android was the only person who gave him some sort happiness and understanding. He was the only person that calmed the harsh, turbulent agitation inside of him.

And perhaps he was dumb for not actively trying to have that sort of relationship with Nines, but it felt like an aimless journey. Nines was just so perfect and put together, he always knew what to say, and when to take action. He was attractive, pristine and wonderful in his own way. Gavin felt like a complete dumpster fire when compared to that. He was chaotic, always barging into situations headfirst without thought, and hardheaded. His face was littered with scars from a mishap when he responded to an old bar fight in his rookie days. He was just so far from everything that Nines was. So really, what was truly the point when the odds seemed against him? Why would you go for something that seemed like a hopeless path only to end in failure? It would be foolish.

But in the end, Nines had found someone else to love and Gavin couldn’t even be mad. She was some really sweet android girl, and each time he had come across her she treated him with the same kindness and compassion that Nines had given him. She had even approached him with a warm smile and gifted him homemade cookies at the DPD’s last Christmas party. She had also graciously offered to sew up his jacket when she noticed that a few threads had come loose from over wearing the garment.

She was just perfect for Nines in his eyes, and he just couldn’t be angry at something as reasonable as that.

When it came down to it, there was a choice between a considerate, beautiful woman and a rugged man with deep-rooted issues, so he could understand why Nines went for her. He could understand why he had no chance the moment she came into the picture, and shit, now the two were getting married.

And he was leaving Detroit for good.

He had just finished packing up the last of his belongings, which wasn’t a lot to begin with. He had made sure to get rid of anything he deemed unimportant or wasteful before he packed everything into his truck. Now all he had to do was make the long journey to his new home, which was a whopping twenty-hour drive in total. Perhaps he was a little over-ambitious, he could’ve just simply taken a plane there, and paid some company to move his shit to get it over with quickly; but why not see the vast country while he’s traveling and wash away his worries on the way there? He was going to be on his way to a new beginning after all.

His grey tabby cat was currently sleeping soundly in the passenger's seat of his truck, her little tummy rising and falling with short breaths. Rain lightly fell from the sky with a consistent rhythm, the sound of it hitting the windshield softly emitting throughout the enclosed space. The streetlights shone through each of the small droplets, giving each of them their own unique sparkle.

Gavin had always liked the rain, especially on nights like this where things were calm and serene. It almost made him forget about what nerve-racking thing he would have to do soon.

He wished he could just set off and be done with Detroit once and for all, but he had some unfinished business and some unspoken words to share. He had one last stop to make so he could clear his conscience before he set off on his long journey.

He sighed to himself, and stressfully ran a hand over his face, keeping the other planted firmly on the steering wheel. He didn’t want to be an asshole and leave after dropping some substantial information, but he felt like it was the only way to lift this heavy feeling off of his heart. He had no interest in seeing the long term outcome because it already was set. There was no positive outcome for him. There was no happy ending filled with sunshine and rainbows.

Once he had arrived at his destination, he sent a glance over at his cat, who was still comfortably curled up and off in dreamland. He gently smiled at the sight and moved to put his hand on the door handle.

“I’ll only be a little bit, Maggie,” He softly spoke to the cat, even though she had no interest in him at that moment and was deep in her land of dreams.

There was a deep inhale and exhale that came from him as he prepared to open the door. The rain was still making its way down from the dark sky, so he knew he’d have to move quickly if he didn’t want to end up soaked.

So that’s what he did, he swiftly stepped out and shut the door behind him as gently as he could - keeping his sleeping kitty in mind - and made a run for it. It didn’t take long to find safety underneath the roof of the home’s porch. He examined the area around him and noted that the light outside was on, illuminating the small space around him. The home looked as though it had recently received a fresh coat of white paint, and the color particularly stood out to him compared to other homes in this area of Detroit. It was well kept, that was clear.

It wasn’t surprising considering it was where Nines lived.

Gavin knocked on the door, nervously shifting his weight as he shoved his hands into his jean pockets. He cleared his throat, as ready as he was ever going to be for the conversation he would soon be having with the android.

He silently hoped he wouldn’t regret this decision.

The door opened after a few moments of waiting and the android on the other side raised a curious brow at Gavin’s sudden appearance. Nines was dressed in casual clothing, a loose black shirt, and grey sweatpants, a big difference from how Gavin was used to seeing him.

He still looked as great as ever.

“Gavin?” Nines questioned, opening the door just a little wider, “What are you doing here?”

“Hey, Nines,” Gavin awkwardly greeted, immediately losing all train of thought at that moment. He had a clear task at hand, but now that he was here and Nines was right in front of him, he didn’t know if he could do it. He inhaled sharply and adjusted his jacket to give his hands something to do.

This was going to be a lot harder than he thought. He didn’t even know how he should ease into that sort of conversation, so he eventually just settled on asking, “Uh, where’s Chloe?”

The confusion was clearly written on Nines’s face at this point, his head tilted slightly as he replied, “She is inside. Why? Do you wish to speak with her?”

“Nah, nah,” Gavin quickly shrugged the idea off, “I just uh-... I kind of need to talk to you, in private preferably?”

There was a moment of silence that sat between them, the tension in the air was thick and heavy. He carefully studied Nines’s facial expression, wondering if he had already somehow messed his whole plan up.

But after waiting out the anxiety-inducing silence, Nines made a move and joined Gavin outside, firmly shutting the door behind him.

“Is something wrong, Gavin?” Nines looked concerned, his brows furrowed and his eyes shining in the low light surrounding them. Gavin sighed and shook his head in response.

“No, it’s nothing like that, nothing’s wrong,” He said, “I just have some things I need to tell you... some bullshit that I’ve been neglecting to tell you for a while.”

“Okay...” Nines’s voice trailed off, clearly anticipating Gavin’s next words, “What is it?”

“Well there’s two things,” Gavin began to explain, his nervousness beginning to crawl back to the surface. He was stalling. He knew he was stalling, yet he couldn’t stop himself.

The plan was good in theory, but the execution was so difficult. How was he supposed to tell Nines these things without seeming like an asshole with complete disregard for his friend’s feelings? Ugh, so stupid. He knew it was going to be hard, but actually being here felt like another level of difficulty.

Nines patiently awaited for Gavin to continue speaking, but he knew him too well. The android knew that he wasn’t going to speak about anything personal without a healthy push in that direction, so it wasn’t a surprise when Nines urged him to continue by asking, “Two things?”

“Yeah, uh,” Gavin paused, and silently built up the courage to spit it out, “Fuck it, first of all: I am leaving Detroit.”

It felt like the air stilled around them.

“You’re.. leaving Detroit?” Nines tilted his head curiously, a flash of hurt somewhere deep in his eyes.

“I’ve already settled the whole ordeal with Fowler,” Gavin explained sheepishly, willing himself to look away, “Things just haven’t been good recently. I felt like a needed a new beginning so... I am leaving for good, Nines.”

“But-“ Nines suddenly went quiet, his LED spinning a distressed yellow.

Gavin had only seen it do that three times over the years. He had only seen that dreaded yellow three whole times.

The first time was on a child murder case, the gruesome crime scene had apparently burned itself into Nines’s mind and he couldn’t handle it. He remembered that the android specifically asked to hand over the case to someone else and he never had asked for such a thing before, Nines was usually so stoic and determined. Gavin had immediately agreed to the idea for his sake.  
The second time was after they hung out together at some run-down bar downtown, and Gavin had nearly been hit by a car in his intoxicated state because he clearly wasn’t aware of his surroundings, but Nines was quick enough to grab him by his jacket and pull him back onto the sidewalk. He didn’t remember much from that night, but he did remember the spinning yellow and a healthy dose of scolding from the other.  
The third time was after Gavin found himself waking up in the hospital after an infiltration gone wrong. Nines was there waiting for him the moment he woke up.

So seeing it now came as a surprise. Was that sort of news really enough to make Nines feel that way?

“What am I supposed to do without you?” The android finally asked, attempting to mask the hurt in his tone. Gavin took a small step back and looked to the ground, unable to meet the other’s eyes now that he had seen his reaction, “You’re my partner, Gavin, we’ve worked together for so long.”

“You’ll be assigned some other partner, I’m not special,” Gavin weakly scoffed.

“What’s the other thing?”

“Hm?”

“What’s the other thing you’ve been neglecting to tell me?”

Silence pierced through the air again as Gavin felt his heart wrench in his chest. He willed himself to look at Nines, who was patiently waiting for his answer. The android was clearly hurt, he could tell by the way his composure was falling apart second by second.

Gavin hadn’t meant to hurt Nines, he didn’t think the news would be that much of a problem in the end, but his judgment was clearly wrong. He knew they were good friends, but why did it hurt him this much? Why did Nines look like he was going to cry at any given second?

“There’s no easy way to tell you this, so I just hope you don’t take this negatively,” Gavin finally said, trying to hold his own composure together. It was so anxiety-inducing, especially when he knew that he had already brought down the other’s mood with the first part of his confession. He had no idea how Nines was going to react to this... disgusted? Unaffected? Maybe even confused?

He didn’t know and the thought of it was killing him.

“It might not be the right time for this, but Nines, I am pretty damn sure that I am in love with you and have been for years,” Gavin let it all out in one motion, quick and painless, like ripping off a bandaid. There was no need for some sappy confession or grand finale.

He waited for the disgusted reaction. He waited to be told to leave, but it never came.

Instead, Nines said:  
“Oh... I wish you would’ve told me sooner.”

...

“What?”

“Gavin,” Nines stepped forward, his smile bittersweet. His eyes were glassy, clearly holding back his true emotions over the matter, “There was a point where I was in love with you too.”

“Then... Then why didn’t you say anything?” Gavin questioned, a swirl of mixed emotions settling inside of him. He was mostly shocked, had the android truly been in love with him at some point? Were they really just dancing around each other this entire time like it was some stupid game?

Fuck. Why was Nines even telling him this? He didn’t want to be labeled as some home-wrecker, not when the android’s current relationship was so put together.

“I didn’t say anything because you seemed conflicted,” Nines answered, continuing to elaborate on the matter, “I picked up on your attraction towards me, you make it hard _not_ to notice. You’re a mess... but, you seemed conflicted about the subject, like you didn’t know if you’d want to be with me or not.”

Gavin didn’t say anything.

“I figured it had something to do with the fact you despised androids for so long previously, so I didn’t say anything. It was only logical, why would a man like Gavin Reed want to peruse something he hated for so long, even if he had changed?” Nines finished explaining and Gavin could only stand there with his mind running on overdrive.

He wanted to call Nines a complete idiot. He was wrong. Why was a state of the art, detective android wrong about something that should be crystal clear? Anyone could see that the two were almost complete opposites when it came to their lifestyles, the notion was simple. He didn’t think that someone so perfect and calculated would want to associate like that with someone like him. Nines was so stupid-

“But I see now that my judgment about the matter was wrong since you’re telling me this now,” The android interrupted his thoughts, “Would you mind explaining to me why _you_ didn’t say anything sooner?”

“I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t think you’d want to be with a reckless asshole like me,” Gavin admitted, shifting on his feet, “Fuck, why are you telling me this? Aren’t you happy with Chloe? I’m not here to ruin something like that-“

“I am happy with her,” Nines was quick to interrupt, “Really, I am very happy with her, but that doesn’t change the way I felt in the past. I’m telling you this because if you really are leaving, I think it’s best to tie up these loose ends.”

“So, we are just going to leave it at that?” Gavin questioned, “You can’t just- tell me something like that and then leave it, you’ve got me all fucked up.”

“Weren’t you planning to do the same thing? Just tell me that and leave? It’s the only thing we can do. We’ve let go of our secret, and it’s just... it’s the wrong timing for all of this.”

“We are fucking idiots.”

“Truly.”

Gavin didn’t know what to think anymore. He wanted to simultaneously curse the world and painfully cry out. The unrequited love in his chest only twisted further like a spiked dagger knowing that Nines once had returned the feelings. He was sure that if Nines didn’t have a fiancé they would have the chance to be together, there was obviously something between them, a little spark of passion- but he was too late and that flame was dying out. He was too late because of his own stupid, plagued thoughts.

They were both too late.

“I’m sorry that it has turned out this way for you,” Nines said, choking back a hint of desperation, “I do wish we would’ve done something about our feelings in the past, now that I look back at it. I would’ve loved nothing more than to be with you, but clearly, our judgment about each other was off. I moved on and I just hope you can do the same as well.”

“Yeah... It’s going to be hard, but leaving Detroit might help with that,” Gavin knew he needed to be mature about it right now. Once he was far away from Detroit and this whole situation, he could let out the frustration he felt with a six-pack of beer and a Linkin Park album on repeat. Yeah, perfect.

“I know this is selfish of me to ask of you, but will you at least keep in touch with me?” Nines tentatively asked, “Maybe even attend the wedding when the time comes, if you feel up to it? I know you’re trying to escape it all and... even if there’s this line between us, I still consider you a dear friend.”

“I’ll just see how everything goes,” He replied, “I think it’s just best if we lost contact for a bit, let me get myself back together.”

“I’ll miss you.”

Shit, did those words hurt like a burning flame pressed to his heartstrings. His gaze met Nines’s and almost fell apart right there. They were so close, he could easily reach out to touch the android’s face if he felt the need to. The closeness was almost excruciating, the longing deep in his chest was pushing him to do anything, touch Nines, hug him, kiss him, something-

“Yeah, I’ll miss you too,” Gavin said, caving in to his desires, awkwardly throwing his arms around the other. He wasn’t one to ever show physical affection like this, it was out of the ordinary, but he needed it. He needed to indulge himself one last time before he left.

The notion was returned by the android and he found himself suddenly enraptured in Nines’s warm embrace. The rain steadily fell, the sky was still dark and the air was slightly chilly- but being in the android’s arms felt like none of that was happening right now. It was as if it was just the two of them, no world to worry about, no harsh feelings, just the pungent tone of bittersweetness.

“Could you at least text me to let me know you’ve arrived safely?” The low voice was near his ear, and Gavin nearly shivered, closing his eyes for a short moment.

“I guess I can.” He replied, figuring he could at least do that much.

The warmth suddenly left from around his body and Gavin opened his eyes, noting that Nines had pulled away.

“I suppose you should get going then?” Nines asked, and it was clear that he was still holding something back, but it wasn’t Gavin’s place to question it. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to know what emotion Nines was trying to hide, as the emotional rollercoaster he had already been on was enough for one night.

They shared soft goodbyes, and Nines was so incredibly sweet about it. But with that sweetness came poison as well, poison in the form of knowing that the android was never his and never will be his.

Gavin left Detroit with an even heavier feeling on his heart than he had started with and just a sliver of hope for a better future.

Love is a powerful force, it can completely change or even destroy a person. It can bring people together and it can tear them apart. Love is the driving force of all people, it enters the soul of each person and emerges as their passions in the arts, in science, in nature... in whatever sparks their curiosity and drive. It is how they find their truth and purpose. It is how they give of themselves to others. Love is what makes us who we are, it is the energy that brings us to life. It’s such a complex thing, yet simple to the untrained eye. Gavin wishes he would’ve taken the chance, but the leap was too frightening that so he shied away from the cliff. Perhaps if he would’ve jumped and taken the fall, he would’ve landed in a soft pile of dopamine and stability, but he couldn’t see the bottom and fear enraptured him in its dirty and unforgiving claws.

‘Fuck love.’ Gavin thought to himself as he downed yet another beer in a bar several states away.

_Such a silly man. Love will always find it’s way back into you, whether you like it or not._


End file.
